


we hold these memes to be self-evident

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, John is soft, Multi, Texting, but who doesnt tbh, crying over rent, everyone is friends!!!!!, google translate french, i love my gay children, i'll add more everything as it's written, im so sorry @ everyone who speaks french, laf n pegs are nb B), peggy is genderfluid!!!, shitposts tbh, this is just texts w The Gays, timmy j is secretly protective over alex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-15 21:48:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7239802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>dear maria: we hold these memes to be self-evident that all frogs are created equal</p><p>betsizzle: maria nO</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hamb chops: I ACCIDENTALLY CALLED GWASH DAD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hamb chops > alex  
> washingfun > gwash  
> laffy taffy > lafayette  
> a real doll > dolley payne  
> right angle > angelica  
> margtini > peggy  
> betsizzle > eliza  
> dear maria > maria  
> papa john > john  
> marta > matha manning  
> herculegs > hercules  
> adrienun > adrienne
> 
> also!!!! if you skipped over the ships in the tags then the ships are laf/herc/alex/john,, adrienne/angelica/dolley,, maria/eliza,, and peggy/martha (manning)!!!!

**hamb chops >> washingfun**

 

 **hamb chops:** hey dad i’m sick and john says i can't make it into work today

 

 **washingfun:** It’s nice you're taking a break, Alexander. Tell the others I said hi.

 

 **hamb chops:** I DIDNT MEAN TO CALL YOU DAD OH MYGOD

 

 **hamb chops:** IM SO SORRY SIR

 

 **washingfun:** It’s alright, son. Rest up, see you tomorrow.

 

* * *

 

 

**hamb chops >> laffy taffy, a real doll, right angle, margtini, betsizzle, dear maria, papa john, marta, herculegs, adrienun**

 

 **hamb chops:** IVE MADE A MISTAJE

 

 **papa john:** WHAT DID YOU DO THIS ITME

 

 **herculegs:** IT CANT BE WORSE THAN LEEBURY

 

 **adrienun:** WHAT IS LEEBURY

 

 **papa john:** NO

 

 **hamb chops:** N O

 

 **laffy taffy:** sO samuel seabury had a bad opinion that ofc alex didnt agree with and full on fuckin ROASTED HIM LIKE HE WENT UP IN FLAMES WE ATE HIM AT THE FOURTH OF JULY BBQ IT WAS L I T(lmao) anyway this asshole charles lee defended him but like with his fists and like punched him and alex got like a black eye and our buddy john was there and he broKE LEES NOSE AND IT WAS ALMOST A QUADRUPLE EXPULSION but the principal decided on just a week suspension and alex and john realized they had a fight kink

 

 **hamb chops:** WHY THE FIGHT KINK

 

 **papa john:** WE DO NOT HAVE A FIGHT KINK

 

 **laffy taffy:** bar fight of last march

 

**hamb chops has left the chat**

 

 **adrienun:** ICONIC

 

**right angle has added hamb chops to the chat**

 

 **right angle:** BACK ON TOPIC

 

 **betsizzle:** YEAH WHAT HAPPENDE

 

 **hamb chops:** IS EVERYONE HERE I DONT WAN N A SAY THIS AGAIN

 

 **betsizzle:** HERE

 

 **right angle:** YES

 

 **adrienun:** OUI

 

 **dear maria:** HEYHEYHEY

 

 **a real doll:** IM ALIVE

 

 **laffy taffy:** UNFORTUNATELY

 

 **margtini:** ME N MARTHA ARE HERE HER PHONE IS JUST ACROSS THE ROOM AND WE’RE WATCHING ESB BC HOT LEIA

 

 **herculegs:** IM HERE AND JOHN IS READING OVER MY SHOULDER BC BBY IS TIRED

 

 **laffy taffy:** AW

 

 **hamb chops:** PICS

 

 **herculegs:** HE IS A W A K E

 

 **adrienun:** we're not this annoying are we?????

 

 **right angle:** no

 

 **a real doll:** no bc we’re cute

 

 **margtini:** OK ALEX WHAT

 

 **papa john:** DISGUSTING I WENT TO GET A DRINK BC I JUST WANT SOME SWEET TEA FROM MY SOUTHERN HERITAGE AND LAF AND ALEX ARE/WERE AMKING OUT ON THE COUNTER ALEX IS SICK AND MISSI NG HIS PANST AND LAFS SHIRT IS ON THE STOVE

 

 **laffy taffy:** LISTEN

 

 **betsizzle:** O N W I T H I T

 

 **hamb chops:** OK ONE LAF IS KISSING MY NECK AN D IM ALL WARM AND TINGLY I LOVE THEM SOM UCH

 

 **laffy taffy:** LOVE YOU TOO BBY

 

 **hamb chops:** I ACCIDENTALLY CALLED GWASH DAD

 

 **margtini:** MARTHA FELL OFF THE COUCH SHES CRYIGN

 

 **right angle:** ELIZA DOLLEYA DN MARIA ARENT BREATHIGN AND IM NEXT FUKDNSFJ

 

 **laffy taffy:** ALECJDSKG

 

 **papa john:** IC ANREWSJFKDS LAF FELL OFF HTE COUNTRE ANDIM HOLDING THE FRIDGE HANDLE WHHEZENV

 

 **laffy taffy:** I CAN HEAR HERC FALLIGN OFF TH E COUCH

 

 **hamb chops:** :( its not that funny

 

 **marta:** PICS OR IT DIDNT HAPPE N

 

 **hamb chops:** _regret.PNG_

 

 **herculegs:** TELL THE OTHERS I ASID HI

 

 **papa john:** ITS NIEC YOURE TAKIGN A BERAK ALEXAND RE

 

 **hamb chops:** I DINTD HAVE THE HEART TO TELL HIMT HAT ITS ONLY ALLERGIES ADN ME N LAF ARE JUSTF GONNA FUCJ ALL DYA

 

 **laffy taffy:** ALE X OUR P L ANS WERE CONFIDENTIAL

 

 **dear maria:** NOT ANYMEOR

 

 **papa john:** anyway who’s up for a disney marathon tonight????

 

 **a real doll:** DCOMS OR??????

 

 **papa john:** BOTH

 

 **marta:** WE’RE STARTIGN WITH HERCULES

 

 **adrienun:** YES WE HAVENT WATCHED IT IN LIKE THREE MONTHS

 

 **herculegs:** NO

 

 **margtini:** PLS HERC ITS SO GOOD

 

 **herculegs:** N O

 

 **laffy taffy:** GIVE ME FIVE MINUTES

 

 **laffy taffy:** heRC CAN U COME IN HERE

 

 **herculegs:** nO I KNOW WHAT YOURE TRYING TO DO

 

 **papa john:** bby pls

 

 **herculegs:** FINE

 

 **herculegs:** I HAVE BEEN PERSUADED

 

 **herculegs:** BUT THE ONLY JOKES CAN BE MADE BY MY SIGNIFS AND DURING WONT SAY IM IN LOVE AND IF ANY OTHER JOKES ARE MADE (besides me looking like a god bc tru B) ) I HAVE FULL PERMISSION TO TURN IT OFF

 

 **adrienun:** ITS A CLASSIF AND ITS ACTUALLY SO GOOD ALL MEMES ASIDE

 

 **herculegs:** ok tru?? it’s so good wtf??

 

 **marta:** CAN WE MAKE JOKES OVER TEXT

 

 **herculegs:** F I N E

 

 **papa john:** EVERYONE HERE IN AN HOUR BC THAT GIVES TIME TO GET FOOD AND GET THE MOVIE KIT™

 

 **marta:** sEE YOU SOON

 

 **betsizzle:** I CAN GO THE DISTANCE

 

 **right angle:** we’ll be there

 

 **adrienun:** B Y E

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!! im jase(y) and i decided to write this bc i love texting fics so much and i basically live in one so,, and some of these are gonna be based on actual things that happen in my gc amazing 
> 
> the update schedule is nonexistent so good luck
> 
> i'm betsey and i'm the other half of the dead inside duo !! and i'm in that gc too trust me it gets pretty wild !!
> 
> \--
> 
> next chapter: hercules the movie,, annoying ot4 and ~french sex


	2. hercules: a greek musical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> betsizzle: ALEX AND LAF KEEP IT DOWN FOR THE LVOE OF ALL RHAT IS GOOD AND PURE
> 
> laffy taffy: unlike us ;;)))

**betsizzle >> herculegs, hamb chops, laffy taffy, a real doll, right angle, margtini, dear maria, papa john, marta, adrienun**

 

**betsizzle:** hey hey herc

 

**herculegs:** what

 

**betsizzle:** can you get me a drink pls and thank

 

**herculegs:** fine what do you want

 

**betsizzle:** nothing healthy

 

**herculegs:** fine brb

 

**dear maria:** why couldnt u just sAy this

 

**betsizzle:** bc he needs to,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

**herculegs:** NO

 

**betsizzle:** gO THE DISTANCE

 

**herculegs:** NO

 

-

 

**adrienun >> papa john, betsizzle, dear maria, herculegs, laffy taffy, hamb chops, a real doll, marta, right angle, margtini**

 

**adrienun:** EHLP LAF AND LAEX AR EBEIGN GROSS IN FRECNH

 

**papa john:** I WANT TO UNLEANR FRECHN

 

**adrienun:** YOU ARE DATING THEM YOU CAN TAKE PART IN THIS/BREAK IT U P

 

**papa john:** OH YWAH

 

**dear maria:** HJON YOU MADE IT OWRSE THEY LEFT

 

**adrienun:** HE TOLD THEM THEY CAN LEAVE LEAVE BUT TO BE QUIET OR HE’LL MAKE THEM WATCH BOB ROSSFNJKDFGLS

 

**marta:** ICONCIIVKUDSGHFD

 

-

 

**betsizzle >> papa john, adrienun, dear maria, herculegs, laffy taffy, hamb chops, a real doll, marta, right angle, margtini**

 

**betsizzle:** ALEX AND LAF KEEP IT DOWN FOR THE LVOE OF ALL RHAT IS GOOD AND PURE

 

**laffy taffy:** unlike us ;;)))

 

**papa john:** listen that is unfair to me and herc do not exclude us

 

**hamb chops:** you're free to join ;;;;)))))))

 

**herculegs:** RIDHFHFH

 

**a real doll:** LISTEN WE ARE TRYING TO BOND COME WATCH THE MOVIE

 

**hamb chops:** YOU ARENT THE ONLY ONES STOP TEXTING DURING THE MOVIE

 

**right angle:** HUDHGFKDFJISFL

 

**adrienun:** I HAEV NEVER NSEE HERC AND JOHN GET UP SO QUICKLY IM SXREAMFIN

 

**betsizzle:** ENOUGH IM TAKING THE MOVEIS

 

**herculegs:**  FI NE BY US UOU CAN KEEP THAT COPY OF HERCULES

 

**dear maria:** HAVE FUN USE PROTECTION STAY SAFE SEE YOU TOMORRO W

 

-

 

**herculegs >> laffy taffy, hamb chops, papa john**

 

**herculegs:** why are we doing this separately

 

**laffy taffy:** bc i never get just alex time

 

**herculegs:** and i never get just john time im ok with this

 

**herculegs:** GYUS IF YOU DO ANYTHIGN NOT LIHGT WITH JHONS THIGJS HE GETS A SOUHTERN ACCNTE

 

**herculegs:** BUT A GDOO ON E WITH PROPER GRAMMAR BUT STILL SOUTHERN

 

**hamb chops:** BAKC OF THE NEC K

 

**laffy taffy:** LEFT SIDE

 

**papa john:** ST O P ATTAXKIGN ME

 

**hamb chops:** HE R C HAVE YOU EVER HEARD HIM BEG WIT H A SOUTHERN ACCENT GYJBHBFJ

 

**herculegs:** I HAVE N OW

 

**laffy taffy:** ALEX !! BEGGIGN !! IN !! FRENC H !!!!!!

 

**herculegs:** I KNWO BUT I NEVER KNOW WHAT HE S SAYI N G BUT I LIKE IT

 

**papa john:** AFTER THIS WE’ R E TEACHING YOU ~FRENCH~

 

**herculegs:** TEACH IT TO ME NOW GOGO ~SOUTHERN FRENCH SEX~

 

**hamb chops:** ONMY W AY

 

**laffy taffy:** JSEUS CHR ITS WAIT FOR ME ALX E   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wink wonk ;)(; -j
> 
> \--
> 
> next chapter: stressed google translations,, the Dankest Memes,, debates on episodes of friends


	3. the one with all the french yelling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> margtini: “MARIE-JOSEPH PAUL YVES ROCH GILBERT DU MOTIER, MARQUIS DE LAFAYETTE DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO” - addie
> 
> margtini: “DON’T USE THEIR FULL NAME THEY’RE TRYING THEIR BEST” -john
> 
> margtini: “GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THEIR ASS JONATHAN THE ONLY FRIENDS CHARACTER THAT MATTERS IS BEN” -addie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thotmas > tjeff  
> washingfunner > martha washington
> 
> also the french is bad and blame google translate not me(!!)

**adrienun >> laffy taffy, hamb chops, papa john, betsizzle, dear maria, herculegs, a real doll, marta, right angle, margtini**

 

 **adrienun:** who’s the best friends character

 

 **papa john:** chandler obv

 

 **hamb chops:** mONica wyd

 

 **herculegs:** rachel :’)

 

 **laffy taffy:** phoebe

 

 **betsizzle:** its obviously carol??????

 

 **dear maria:** it’s susaN

 

 **margtini:** ur all wrong it’s marcel the monkey smh

 

 **a real doll:** emma shes so relatable

 

 **marta:** joey my love my light

 

 **margtini:** i thought that was me :((((

 

 **marta:** it is you bby joey's a close second <333

 

 **margtini:** <333333

 

 **right angle:** u are all wrong it’s gunther

 

 **adrienun:** see,,, i asked you bc youre all wrong even u ang it’s ben

 

 **hamb chops:** well let’s narrow it down

 

 **papa john:** vote??

 

 **hamb chops:** yeah ok but not for a favorite just to narrow it down

 

 **adrienun:** chandler (say a number and the order is john, alex, laf, herc, angel, liza, martha, maria, pegs, dolley, me)

 

 **papa john:** 1

 

 **hamb chops:** 2

 

 **laffy taffy:** 3

 

 **herculegs:** 4

 

 **right angle:** 5

 

 **betsizzle:** 6

 

 **marta:** 7

 

 **dear maria:** 8

 

 **margtini:** 9

 

 **a real doll:** 10

 

 **adrienun:** 11

 

 **adrienun:** okay monica

 

 **papa john:** 0

 

 **hamb chops:** 1

 

 **laffy taffy:** 1

 

 **herculegs:** 1

 

 **right angle:** 2

 

 **betsizzle:** 2

 

 **marta:** 2

 

 **dear maria:** 2

 

 **margtini:** 2

 

 **a real doll:** 3

 

 **adrienun:** 4

 

 **papa john:** as fun as this is addie,,,, just make a poll

 

 **adrienun:** ok yeah good idea thanku johnny appleseed ur apples will flourish this spring

 

 **hamb chops:** so we have decided between susan, chandler, joey, rachel, and phoebe

 

 **adrienun:** poll??

 

 **marta:** sure

 

 **a real doll:** chandler joey and phoebe yikes theyre the best

 

 **margtini:** pOLL

 

 **margtini:** unrelated note can polls decide everything we do????????

 

 **herculegs:** nO

 

 **papa john:** we need an Outside Opinion

 

 **right angle:** got it

 

**right angle has added thotmas to the chat**

 

 **thotmas:** why am i here

 

 **right angle:** which friends character is the best

 

 **thotmas:** ross obv?????

 

 **hamb chops:** GROSS

 

 **papa john:** WHY

 

 **right angle:** THOMAS I TRUSTED YOU

 

**hamb chops has removed thotmas from the chat**

 

 **hamb chops:** Serenity™

 

 **papa john:** I GOT THIS

 

**papa john has added washingfunner**

 

 **washingfunner:** what is this and why am i here

 

 **papa john:** hey mrs w!!! which friends character is the best????

 

 **washingfunner:** hm,, susan

 

 **dear maria:** I KNOW

 

 **right angle:** ok who’s the best out of chandler,, joey,, and phoebe

 

 **washingfunner:** damn those are the best ones

 

 **washingfunner:** umum chandler

 

 **papa john:** CONFIRMED

 

 **washingfunner:** is that all??

 

 **betsizzle:** yeah thanks!!!

 

**washingfunner has left the chat**

 

 **papa john:** H A I WAS RIGHT I AM SUPERIOR

 

 **adrienun:** AMENDE JOHN VOUS GAGNEZ NOUS OBTENONS

 

 **hamb chops:** NE PAS PARLER À MON COPAIN COMME ÇA

 

 **adrienun:** JE PEUX PARLER À JOHN CEPENDANT JE VEUX ALEXANDER

 

 **laffy taffy:** MON CHÉRI ADRIENNE LAISSER MES AMOURS SEUL

 

 **herculegs:** TALK SLOWER I ONLYKNOW NON CONVENTIONALL FRENCH I NWWD TO TRANSLATE SL OW DOWN

 

 **adrienun:** MARIE-JOSEPH PAUL YVES ROCH GILBERT DU MOTIER, MARQUIS DE LAFAYETTE NE ME DIS PAS QUOI FAIRE

 

 **papa john:** NE PAS NOM COMPLET LES QU'ILS DE LEUR MIEUX

 

 **adrienun:** OBTENIR VOTRE TÊTE DE LEUR CUL JONATHAN LE SEUL AMIS CARACTERE QUI IMPORTE EST BEN

 

 **dear maria:** STOP WITH THE FRENCHT HIS IS MADNSS I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO MY PHONE DIESENT KNOW EHAT TO DO GOOGLE SAYS TO TRANSLATE BUT IM NOT FSAT ENOUGH HELP

 

 **betsizzle:** YSE LISTEN TO MARIA

 

 **right angle:** I AGREE

 

 **papa john:** MON NOM EST MEME PAS JONATHAN

 

 **marta:** ENOUGH WITH THE FIGHTING THIS IS MADNESS

 

 **a real doll:** YES WE ARE ALL FRIENDS WE CAN T LET TV CHARACTERS TEAR US APART

 

 **right angle:** MY GIRLFRIEND IS RIGHT

 

 **adrienun:** i’m sorry mon amour,, mon étoile i’m sorry :(( i just got carried away

 

 **a real doll:** <3333

 

 **right angle:** <33333

 

 **adrienun:** <333333

 

 **margtini:** so does anyone want the english translations

 

 **dear maria:** yeah always

 

 **margtini:** “FINE YOU WIN JOHN WE GET IT” -addie

 

 **margtini:** “DO NOT TALK TO MY BOYFRIEND LIKE THAT” -alex

 

 **margtini:** “I CAN TALK TO JOHN HOWEVER I WANT ALEXANDER” -addie

 

 **margtini:** “MY DEAR ADRIENNE LEAVE MY LOVES ALONE” -laf

 

 **margtini:** “MARIE-JOSEPH PAUL YVES ROCH GILBERT DU MOTIER, MARQUIS DE LAFAYETTE DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO” - addie

 

 **margtini:** “DON’T USE THEIR FULL NAME THEY’RE TRYING THEIR BEST” -john

 

 **margtini:** “GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THEIR ASS JONATHAN THE ONLY FRIENDS CHARACTER THAT MATTERS IS BEN” -addie

 

 **margtini:** “MY NAME ISNT EVEN JONATHAN” -john

 

 **marta:** L IT ICONIC

 

 **herculegs:** ADRIENNE JGEKTRKSNJKDS

 

 **dear maria:** CAN WE GET OFF THE TOPIC OF FRIENDS AND FRENCH WE’RE BEI N G TORN APART

 

 **betsizzle:** what do you wanna talk about bby

 

**a real doll:** _itsDATBOI.JPG_

 

 **dear maria:** GYUS

 

 **marta:** WHAT

 

 **dear maria:** we hold these memes to be self-evident that all frogs are created equal

 

 **betsizzle:** maria nO

 

 **a real doll:** MARIA FYJGH

 

**right angle has left the chat**

 

 **hamb chops:** me too ang

 

 **adrienun:** can we discuss meme importance in person bc i miss u guys

 

 **a real doll:** addie me n ang are literally sitting next to you

 

 **adrienun:** and

 

 **betsizzle:** we all just saw each other yesterday

 

 **adrienun:** aND?????

 

**adrienun has added right angle to the chat**

 

 **laffy taffy:** good point wanna go to dinner??

 

 **betsizzle:** sure we’re in

 

 **herculegs:** us too

 

 **margtini:** me n martha will see you there

 

 **marta:** wanna go to that burger place?????

 

 **hamb chops:** it’s not like we have another option so yh

  
**adrienun:** see you there!!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tag urself im all of laf's names -j
> 
> \-- 
> 
> next chapter: blees,, alpaca farms,, and pen buns


	4. alpaca farm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> margtini: it’s freezing and im annoyed
> 
> papa john: grab a blanket?????
> 
> margtini: JOHN YOU FUCKING IDIOT I MEANT THE MOVIE

**margtini >> marta, adrienun, right angle, betsizzle, a real doll, dear maria, herculegs, laffy taffy, papa john, hamb chops**

 

 **margtini:** it’s freezing and im annoyed

 

 **papa john:** grab a blanket?????

 

 **margtini:** JOHN YOU FUCKING IDIOT I MEANT THE MOVIE

 

 **papa john:** WELL EXCUSE ME FOR BEING A GOOD FRIEND WITH GOOD SUGGESTIONS

 

 **hamb chops:** you know who i miss??

 

 **laffy taffy:** who???

 

 **hamb chops:** liza and maria :(((

 

 **betsizzle:** you called

 

 **hamb chops:** liza!!!!!!!

 

 **dear maria:** im here too

 

 **hamb chops:** maria!!!!!

 

 **margtini:** and peggy

 

 **right angle:** when are you guys coming back from upstate??? movie nights arent the same without you :((((

 

 **betsizzle:** monday my darling sister

 

 **betsizzle:** GJKJIYYUFBK8OYTYD

 

 **betsizzle:** ANG PE GS YOULL NEVER GUESSHW AT I DRIVE BY

 

 **right angle:** WHAT

 

 **betsizzle:** MRS ROGERS ALPPACA FAMR

 

 **betsizzle:** IM WHEEZIGN WE H AT ED HER

 

 **betsizzle:** MARIA WAS LIKE “look at the alpacas!!!!!” AND I WAS LIKE “lmao its prob my old science teacher” AND IT WAS IT WAS MRS ROGERS

 

 **right angle:** ICONICUFSK

 

 **margtini:** OJHRFUYGBFID

 

 **hamb cops:** ALPACA FSRM WHATTHE FUKC

 

 **a real doll:** ALPACA FARM GHDKJGBTFV

 

 **adrienun:** ALPACA FARM

 

 **marta:** IN C A SE YOU FORGTO WE LIVE IN N E W YO RK

 

 **dear maria:** IT EXISTSSRTNDGKJS

 

 **herculegs:** PICS OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN

 

 **dear maria:** WE DIDTN EGT ANY BC WE WERE SITIGN THERE WHEEZIGN AND HTNE LIZA REMEMBERED WHERE WE WRER AND HSE DROVE AWAY SO FAST

 

 **right angle:** LIZA WAS IT HER ARE YOU SURE

 

 **betsizzle:** USE SHE WSA OUT THERE TENDING TO HER ALPACASDHFDHSG

 

 **adrienun:** TENDOGN TO HER ALAPCAS

 

 **margtini:** NJSKFDGGSFDGRGL

 

 **marta:** MARG CANT EBRATHE HELP HOW DO YOU GIEV CPRUFKD

 

 **hamb chops:** WHY DOES SHE HAVE AN APACA FAMRFGDK

 

 **right angle:** $$$$$$

 

 **papa john:** illegal aplaca trading

 

 **margtini:** J OHN NO

 

 **herculegs:** WHAT D OES SHE DOW ITH THEM

 

 **a real doll:** eats them

 

 **laffy taffy:** ALPACA PORN

 

 **adrienun:** JFKUSHGERJFG

 

 **adrienun:** N O

 

 **a real doll:** ALPORNCA

 

 **betsizzle:** UKSGDFGKSL

 

 **right angle:** SHE SELLS THEIR FUR OR WHATEVER IT’S CALLED

 

 **papa john:** WHO IS DRIVING

 

 **betsizzle:** ME

 

 **herculegs:** E YES ON THE RO A D

 

 **betsizzle:** WE ARE AT A RED LIHGT

 

* * *

 

**marta >> margtini, adrienun, right angle, betsizzle, a real doll, dear maria, herculegs, laffy taffy, papa john, hamb chops**

 

 **marta:** GYUS

 

 **a real doll:** WHAT

 

 **marta:** PEGGY IS ASLEEP AND THEIR HESD IS IN MY LAP AND ITS SO CUTE HELP

 

 **adrienun:** GET PICTURES

 

 **marta:** I TOOK 84 AND ITS MY BACKGROUND

 

 **papa john:** RELATABLE

 

 **herculegs:** GUYS

 

 **dear maria:** WHAT

 

 **herculegs:** ALEX IS FINALLY ASLEEP

 

 **marta:** BLESS

 

 **adrienun:** FINALLY

 

 **right angle:** GOOD

 

 **a real doll:** BLEES UP

 

 **herculegs:** BLEES

 

 **dear maria:** BLEES

 

 **a real doll:** STOP ATTACKING ME I JUST GOT REALLY EMOTIONAL ABOUT ALEX SLEEPING

 

 **papa john:** B LE E S

 

**a real doll has left the chat**

 

 **right angle:** BLEES

 

 **marta:** BLEES

 

 **adrienun:** BLEES

 

* * *

 

 

**betsizzle >> marta, adrienun, right angle, margtini, a real doll, dear maria, herculegs, laffy taffy, papa john, hamb chops**

 

 **betsizzle:** can you guys put your hair up in a bun with a pen????

 

 **marta:** yeah

 

 **adrienun:** yep

 

 **a real doll:** yh

 

 **margtini:** no but martha does it for me and it makes me feel pretty i love her

 

 **marta:** i love you too bby

 

 **right angle:** no :////

 

 **adrienun:** i’ll teach you mon amour

 

 **right angle:** <333

 

 **hamb chops:** no,, teach me

 

 **papa john:** ^^^

 

 **laffy taffy:** pls

 

 **betsizzle:** no i dont know maria is walking around the apartment with her hair in a Pen Bun™ and im suffering

 

 **adrienun:** _buzzfeed.com/how-to-do-the-pen-bun_

 

 **hamb chops:** YES I DID IT

 

 **papa john:** HOYL FUC K HE DID IT AND IM SUFFERIHN LIZA I UNDERSTAND

 

 **papa john:** HEY I DID IT

 

 **papa john:** NOOOOOOOOO

 

 **papa john:** NOOO O OOO N O ADDIE UNSEND THE LINK

 

 **adrienun:** WHAT HAPPENED

 

 **papa john:** LAF DID IT AND THEY LOOK SO CUTE AND HO L Y FU CK

 

 **papa john:** AELX REMEMBERED THAT HE NEEDED TO WROTE DONW SOMETHIGN AND TOOK THE PEN OUT OF HIS BUN AND HIS HAIR FELL DOW N AND I GOTTS GO IM GONNA KISS HIM

 

 **papa john:** AND LAF IM GONNA KISS THEM TOO TODAY IS A GREAT DAY HERC GET IN HERE

 

 **herculegs:** I AM AT W O R K

 

 **papa john:** FINE BE THAT WAY

 

* * *

 

 

**herculegs >> betsizzle marta, adrienun, right angle, margtini, a real doll, dear maria, laffy taffy, papa john, hamb chops**

 

 **herculegs:** ADRIENNE

 

 **adrienun:** WHAT

 

 **herculegs:** T H AN K YOU FOR THE PEN BUNS

  
**adrienun:** PHYM G O D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALL OF THIS IS BASED ON ACTUAL THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THE HELL CHAT,,, I DROVE BY MY TEACHER'S ALPACA FARM,, I ACCIDENTALLY SAID BLEES,, AND WE HAD A CONVERSATION ABOUT PEN BUNS W O O IM ALIVE IT'S 4AM -j
> 
> \--
> 
> next chapter: let's see idk


	5. memegarita

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> right angle: CHRIS
> 
> right angle: is that a WEED??!?!??1???
> 
> betsizzle: no this is a crayon
> 
> right angle: IM CALLING THE POLICE *dials 911 on microwave*
> 
> margtini: 911 what's your emergency

**laffy taffy >> hamb chops, herculegs, papa john, adrienun, a real doll, margtini, marta, dear maria, betsizzle, right angle**

 

 **laffy taffy:** why ride a roller coaster when you can ride me ;)(;

 

 **hamb chops:** where u @

 

 **laffy taffy:** near goliath why

 

 **hamb chops:** ON MY WAY

 

 **laffy taffy:** MON AMOUR I WAS KIDDINGDJHSJX

 

 **papa john:** HE SPRINTED AWAY FROM ME SO QUICKSHDKSHAHD

 

 **papa john:** wait i am Alone herc where are you

 

 **herculegs:** w laf???

 

 **papa john:** leave them i’ll start walking your way

 

 **herculegs:** <3

 

 **papa john:** <3

 

 **marta:** IM BLEAHCIGBN MY SYES

 

 **margtini:** NOGDJFNJFF

 

 **betsizzle:** ALEX JUST RNA PASSED ME I CABT BREATGE

 

 **dear maria:** KGCJF THERE HE GO

 

 **laffy taffy:** HE IS  HERE

 

 **hamb chops:** WE’RE GONNA FUCK BRB

 

**right angle has left the chat**

 

 **papa john:** BE QUIET

 

 **herculegs:** USE PROTECTIONFJFT

 

 **a real doll:** DONT GET KICKED OUT

 

 **hamb chops:** IM SO BLESSED I ALWAYS CARRY SHIT AROUND

 

 **adrienun:** BKITDBUFEY

 

 **laffy taffy:** HOMYFJD A LEX

 

 **margtini:** B YE

 

* * *

 

**a real doll >> marta, adrienun, herculegs, laffy taffy, papa john, hamb chops, dear maria, betsizzle, right angle, margtini**

 

 **a real doll:** THE SCHUYLE R S ARE JUST RANDOMLY REENACTIBF THAT ONE VINE THATS LIKE “there's only one thing worse than a rapist” IM WHEEXIGN

 

 **marta:** BFJVDJVIDG I WALKED IN AND PEGS WAS LIKE “there's only one thing worse than a rapist” THEN SHE PAUSED AND WAS LIKE “boom” ANG GASPED AND LIZA WAS LKKE “a child” AND PEG WAS LIKE “no”

 

 **adrienun:** I WANT A DIVORCE

 

 **a real doll:** but addie :(

 

 **adrienun:** not from u bby just angie

 

 **right angle:** THERE’S ONLY ONE THING WORSE THAN A RAPIST

 

 **right angle:** BOOM

 

 **betsizzle:** *GASP*

 

 **margtini:** A CHILD

 

 **right angle:** no

 

 **dear maria:** IDBKXHS LIZA JUST BROUGHT OUT A BOARD SET UP LIKE THE VINE AND SHES MAKIGN US ALL DRESS UP AND FLMIHN

 

 **laffy taffy:** WHY ARE WE FRIENDS

 

 **papa john:** WHO’S FILMIGN

 

 **a real doll:** ME USNXMSHS

 

 **a real doll:** “zoom like in the vine,,, zoom like you mean it” -peggy

 

 **a real doll:** _reasonformydivorce.MOV_

 

 **hamb chops:** STOPSNGSISH

 

**laffy taffy has left the chat**

 

**right angle has added laffy taffy to the chat**

 

 **right angle:** THIS IS QUALITY HUMOR WYD

 

 **betsizzle:** QUALITY CONTENT

 

 **margtini:** HIGH QUALITY MEMES

 

 **papa john:** i’m not mad,,,,,,,,

 

 **herculegs:** just disappointed

 

 **betsizzle:** hey i’m a lesbian

 

 **margtini:** i thought you were american????

 

**hamb chops has left the chat**

 

 **margtini:** hey mom say WHO want lasagna

 

 **right angle:** WHO want lasagkchdnzjx *walks into counter*

 

**laffy taffy has left the chat**

 

 **a real doll:** TOO MANY VINE THREADS QUICK BLOCK TWITTER

 

 **betsizzle:** HOW DO YOU KNOW WHATS GOOD FOR ME

 

 **margtini:** that's my OPINION

 

 **betsizzle:** :|

 

 **right angle:** :0

 

 **a real doll:** we lost them

 

**marta has left the chat**

 

 **right angle:** CHRIS

 

 **right angle:** is that a WEED??!?!??1???

 

 **betsizzle:** no this is a crayon

 

 **right angle:** IM CALLING THE POLICE *dials 911 on microwave*

 

 **margtini:** 911 what's your emergency

 

**a real doll and adrienun have left the chat**

 

 **margtini:** hurricane katrINA?????

 

 **betsizzle:** more like hurricane tortILLA

 

**papa john has left the chat**

 

 **right angle:** I HAVE TO RESTART MY POTATOES

 

**dear maria has left the chat**

 

 **betsizzle:** hey how’re those chicken strips

 

 **margtini:** FUCK YA CHICKEN STRIPS

 

 **right angle:** FUCk ya chICKEN strIPs

 

**herculegs has left the chat**

 

 **margtini:** SCHUYLER SIBLINGS RISE

 

* * *

 

**right angle >> betsizzle, marta, hamb chops, adrienun, laffy taffy, papa john, herculegs, a real doll, dear maria, margtini**

 

 **right angle:** HELP

 

 **betsizzle:** SOS

 

 **marta:** SAVE ME

 

 **papa john:** W HA T

 

 **right angle:** MARGARITA “PEGGY” SCHUYLER IS A MEME FUCKER

 

 **margtini:** WAKE ME UP (WAKE ME UP INSIDE) I CANT WAKE UP

 

 **marta:** IM FILING FOR A DIVORCE

 

 **adrienun:** SHE’S SO FAR GONE

 

 **a real doll:** SHE HASNT SEEN THE SUN IN YEARS

 

 **margtini:** i can be your angle or yuor devil

 

**hamb chops has removed margtini from the chat**

 

 **hamb chops:** peace

 

 **right angle:** i,, i can hear my thoughts

 

 **betsizzle:** F U CJ

 

 **right angle:** NO

 

 **laffy taffy:** WHTA

 

 **marta:** SHES BLASTEIN KAZOO KID REMIX IM GON E

 

 **right angle:** SHE LEFTF

 

 **betsizzle:** SO DID MARIANFHKSDBJ

 

 **dear maria:** WE ARE ON OUR WYA LAF ALEX HERC JOHN

 

 **papa john:** BRING FOOD AND OR ICE CREAM FIRST

 

 **marta:** WE’LL BE OVER IN THIRTY

 

 **papa john:** PERFECT

 

 **adrienun:** OMW

 

 **papa john:** CAN YOU JOIN MARTHA ADN MARIAA

 

 **adrienun:** I AM A BLOKC AWAY FROM YOUR APT

 

 **papa john:** AND

 

 **adrienun:** W,,HY,,,,,,

 

 **papa john:** NOT BC ~KINKY SHIT~ IS HAPPENIFNG

 

 **betsizzle:** HJEKLP

 

 **betsizle:** HFKGPKILHJL

 

**betsizzle has added margtini to the chat**

 

 **right angle:** ELIZA NO

 

 **betsizzle:** HSE TOOK MY PJHINE

 

 **margtini:** martha where are you :(

 

 **margtini:** i miss you :(

 

 **margtini:** mars :( watch this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

 

 **marta:** ENUOGH

 

 **betsizzle:** when did we start calling her mars that’s cute

 

 **marta:** ok tru

 

 **marta:** we’re gonna give u time to come down from ur meme high <3 we’ll be back tomorrow <3

 

 **margtini:** wait

 

 **margtini:** you nd maria n ads are leaving me :(

 

 **a real doll:** the rest of us snuck out in the middle of hello darkness my old friend

 

 **margtini:** for a whole night D:

 

 **margtini:** mars i cant sleep without you :((((((

 

 **hamb chops:** woah

 

 **right angle:** woah

 

 **betsizzle:** woah

 

 **adrienun:** woah

 

 **herculegs:** woah

 

 **laffy taffy:** woah

 

 **papa john:** woah

 

 **a real doll:** woah

 

 **dear maria:** woah

 

 **marta:** aw pegs baby :(( i love you sm and i didn’t think this through come to the store

 

 **margtini:** ON MY WAY

 

 **herculegs:** cute

 

 **papa john:** also you guys can come over

 

 **adrienun:** oh thank god i’ve been sitting in the hallway the whole time

 

 **hamb chops:** ADS NO

 

 **adrienun:** dont worry i heard it from all the way down the hallway and went up two floors and started blasting music and then went and sat outside

 

 **papa john:** hnekgjshlurotk

 

 **margtini:** can we watch shrek

 

 **herculegs:** im not lettign you in

 

 **margtini:** im kidding but in all seriousness can we watch rent

 

 **a real doll:** sure im down for emotions

 

 **right angle:** i love sobbing for two hours yes lets watch rent

 

 **laffy taffy:** rent it is lemme get the Rent Box™

 

 **hamb chops:** hell yes i love the rent box

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a mess hgkusrghsrg,, and idk im thinking abt a girl otwhatever and idk i'll ask betsey
> 
> also i watched like three vine threads on twitter last night (@mariasreynoIds wink wonk)(the l in reynolds is a lowercase i) and i laughed so hard i gave myself a headache and thats why liza and ang were also meme fucks
> 
> \--
> 
> next chapter: will 9/10 be based on a meme bc this one was


	6. scammin(!) for every bootleg they can get their hands on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> betsizzle: i am soft for rory o’malley
> 
> papa john: weak wtf bitch im not what is a roar oh melon??
> 
> herculegs: you cried when you saw him wyd
> 
> papa john: I DONT NEED THIS

**marta >> right angle, betsizzle, hamb chops, adrienun, laffy taffy, papa john, herculegs, a real doll, dear maria, margtini**

 

 **marta:** we’ve never discussed favNAGEL NO BBAB

 

 **marta:** WE’;LL TALK LATER

 

* * *

 

 

**dear maria >> betsizzle, marta, hamb chops, adrienun, laffy taffy, papa john, herculegs, a real doll, margtini, right angle**

 

 **dear maria:** i

 

 **hamb chops:** why did we

 

 **marta:** i’ll never be the same

 

 **adrienun:** im gonna

 

 **papa john:** why are we like this we watched it last week

 

 **papa john:** alex we listened to the soundtrack last night and you cried

 

 **hamb chops:** i dont need this

 

 **marta:** anyway who’s your fav character

 

 **papa john:** MARK

 

 **laffy taffy:** ANGEL

 

 **adrienun:** COLLINS

 

 **dear maria:** MAUREEN

 

 **a real doll:** JOANNE

 

 **hamb chops:** ANGEL

 

 **right angle:** IDK UMUM MIMI????? MARS ANSWER

 

 **marta:** AAA MAUREEN OR MIMI

 

 **herculegs:** ANGEL OR COLLINS

 

 **betsizzle:** MIMI

 

 **margtini:** MAUREEN

 

 **marta:** does anyone like roger hvtjknhf

 

 **papa john:** no??????

 

 **dear maria:** did we watch the same movie?????

 

 **right angle:** who are you

 

 **margtini:** mars bby pls tell me you dont like roger

 

 **marta:** ofc not just,,,,,, does ANYONE or is there just a silent hatred for roger

 

 **hamb chops:** i mean,,, i dont hate him but i dont love him you know??

 

 **herculegs:** HWO JSUT PLAYED ILL COVEER YOU REPRISE

 

 **a real doll:** ,,,,,,,,

 

 **hamb chops:** NO

 

 **hamb chops:** burr just texted me and asked to be added real quick

 

**hamb chops has added iceburrg lettuce to the chat**

 

 **iceburrg lettuce:** WHO JUST STARTED PLAYING I’LL COVER YOU REPRISE BC I HAD TO LISTEN TO HTAT WHOLE MOVIE AND I CANT TAKE THIS

 

 **hamb chops:** oh yeah i forgot you live below us

 

 **hamb chops:** OH N O

 

 **iceburrg lettuce:** trust me i didnt want to hear it either i l e f t

 

 **papa john:** NJDHL

 

 **betsizzle:** DOLLEY TURN IT OFF IM CYTCIN

 

 **iceburrg lettuce:** IM LEAIVNG YOUR EYES HU R T S ME

 

 **papa john:** FINALE A I JUST FLEL

 

 **iceburrg lettuce:** BYE

 

**iceburrg lettuce has left the chat**

 

 **dear maria:** OH HELL YES WHAT YOU OWN

 

* * *

 

 

**right angle >> betsizzle, marta, hamb chops, adrienun, laffy taffy, papa john, herculegs, a real doll, dear maria, margtini**

 

 **right angle:** guys

 

 **adrienun:** mon etoile

 

 **right angle:** we need a new musical to stan

 

 **dear maria:** heathers?????

 

 **hamb chops:** been there

 

 **papa john:** done that

 

 **herculegs:** the link is still in laf’s notes

 

 **laffy taffy:** watch

 

 **dear maria:** KJBDHLGL

 

 **margtini:** HWO DO THEY KNOW HTE WHOLE DANCE TO CANDY STORE GKJD

 

 **right angle:** HBKF ALEX AS VERONICA ICONIC

 

 **a real doll:** i cant believe i got it right i knew john is heather c obv,, but laf as heather m,, herc as heather d,, and alex as veronica im crying

 

 **adrienun:** MON AMOUR YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS IMC RYGNKDF

 

 **marta:** i have too wyd

 

 **betsizzle:** IM ORETTY SURE HEATHER M AND VERONICA DONT AMKE OUT BU TOK NICE CHANGE OF EVENTS I LIKE THE ARTISTS’ INTERPRETATIONFHKDG

 

 **hamb chops:** THANKS LIZA

 

 **laffy taffy:** MEANS A LOT

 

 **margtini:** i guess we could stan bom????

 

 **right angle:** i Agree

 

 **betsizzle:** find a bootleg or listen to it first???

 

 **adrienun:** listen first so we can not watch smth and then watch it bc im still emo over rent

 

 **herculegs:** yh ok i agree

 

 **margtini:** let’s gogogogogogo

 

* * *

 

 

**hamb chops >> right angle, betsizzle, marta, adrienun, laffy taffy, papa john, herculegs, a real doll, dear maria, margtini**

 

 **hamb chops:** IM WGBRHDD

 

 **papa john:** take the box that’s gay and CRUSH IT

 

 **laffy taffy:** LETS FIND A BOOTL E G

 

 **a real doll:** YES

 

 **adrienun:** I FOUND ONE AAAA

 

 **dear maria:** THEN WHAT ARE WE DOING SITTING AROUND TEXTING

 

 **margtini:** TIME TO WATCH

 

* * *

 

 

**betsizzle >> hamb chops, right angle, marta, adrienun, laffy taffy, papa john, herculegs, a real doll, dear maria, margtini**

 

 **betsizzle:** i am soft for rory o’malley

 

 **papa john:** weak wtf bitch im not what is a roar oh melon??

 

 **herculegs:** you cried when you saw him wyd

 

 **papa john:** I DONT NEED THIS

 

 **papa john:** I AM NOT SOFT

 

 **right angle:** you are the softest

 

 **marta:** yeah john wtf you're so soft

 

 **laffy taffy:** mark from rent

 

 **papa john:** SWEET BBY WHO DESERVED THE FAMW HE GOT HE JUST LOVED HIS FEIENDS SO MHCH AND MADE A MOVIE ABT THIGNS THAT MATTER HE IS THE PUREST

 

 **papa john:** i mean who what is a walmark

 

 **hamb chops:** soft boy

 

 **papa john:** I AM NOT

 

 **papa john:** GHNgnkfbatjnizF

 

 **a real doll:** what

 

 **hamb chops:** laf kissed my nose and snatched some flowers to braid into my hair and john got soft

 

 **papa john:** LISTEN THAT DOESBT COUNT I LOVE YOU GUYS

 

 **hamb chops:** I LOVE YOU TOO

 

 **papa john:** actually who?? i don't know a salamander skeleton??

 

 **laffy taffy:** john,,,, mon étoile je t’aime tellement

 

 **papa john:** who,, are you i don't know any laugh aye nut???????

 

 **herculegs:** hey john i love you

 

 **papa john:** im sorry we have never met what is a hookurmemes mulledwine

 

 **adrienun:** MULLEDWINE

 

 **margtini:** HOOKURMEMES

 

 **marta:** hey me n martha love you john

 

 **hamb chops:** HE IS CRYING  MY SOFT BBY

 

 **papa john:** I AM NOT I AHVE NEVER HEARD OF A MIRTHA MANCLING OR A PEPPY SKYLAND????

 

 **right angle:** JOHN HFKDHGU SOFTEST BOY WE LOVE YOUHUKDF

 

 **papa john:** I AM BLINF SUDDENLY I DONT KNOW DONUT PAIN???? HAIR GEL ICK UM???? ADDITION??????

 

 **dear maria:** AAA ME N LIZA ARE ON THE WAY SHE SAYS WE LOVE YOU

 

 **papa john:** I AM F I NE AND NOT SOFT AT ALL MARCHING BAND LOIS LANE????? EEL LIZARD I DONT????

 

 **hamb chops:** john isnt soft

 

 **laffy taffy:** we were alll wrong john isnt soft

 

 **herculegs:** B) john is soft B)

 

 **herculegs:** no he is not

 

 **betsizzle:** NFRKJGDS

 

 **dear maria:** DID YOU GET THREATENNDE TO TELL THESE LIES

 

 **betsizzle:** YALL HE CRACKED HES GONAN KILL THEM WE NEED TO GO PROTECT THME

 

 **hamb chops:** YALL ITS THE OPPOSITE CALM

 

 **herculegs:** PL ESAE DO N O T COME OVER FHRGKD

 

 **laffy taffy:** I S2G IF YOU COME OVER WE’RE MAKING YOU WATCH ONLY THE SAD PARTS OF RENT

 

 **right angle:** FUCK

 

 **papa john:** WE ARE WYD

  
**margtini:** THIS IS A MESS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heLLo whats good this is a mess and i am sorry,, also the soft thing is based on my gc bc cate is soft -j
> 
> \--
> 
> next chapter: meme champion, name changes, they might play The Kink Game w everyone for Maximum Exposure idk let's see


	7. so i'm sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thotmas: jem wtf support my kinks like that
> 
> jem and the holograms: thomas no im not reading you the declaration of independence while we fuck
> 
> thotmas: I JUST

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS SO LONG SORRY FDJKFHDUIO

**hamb chops >> right angle, betsizzle, marta, adrienun, laffy taffy, papa john, herculegs, a real doll, dear maria, margtini**

 

**hamb chops:** MARIA REMEMBER THAT TIME YOU WALKED IN AND ME N LAF WERE TELLING HTE REST A STORY

 

**dear maria:** I JUST WANTED TO STEAL ONE OF THEIR JACKETS AND INSTEAD I GTE SCARRED

 

**laffy taffy:** SHE WAKLED IN AN D SAID “WHO HAS THE SOFTEST JACKET AND MORE IMPORTANTLY HOW BIG WOULD IT BE ON ME- OH MY GOD MY E A R S”

 

**herculegs:** ALL SHE HWARS WAS ALEX SAYIGN “SO WE’RE IN OUR ROOM, LAFS FIGNERS IN MY ASS, PHON E IN MY HAND JEFFERSON AT THE DOOR-” AND SHE SCREMAED

 

**betsizzle:** HO MCY GOD

 

**margtini has left the chat**

 

**adrienun has added margtini to the chat**

 

**adrienun:** CAN WE SAY WILD STORIES BUT LIKE IN PARAGRAPHSAND ADD PEOPLE IN RANDOMLY

 

**right angle:** Y E S

 

**marta:** WHO FIRST

 

**herculegs:** ME @@@LIZA REMEMBER HTAT TIME

 

**betsizzle:** OHJFYB B E S T HERC I LOV U I CANT BELIEVE YOU CARRIED A LIL SEWING KIT EVERYEHERE DURING COLLEGE

 

**papa john:** I KNOW I LOVE HIM :”)

 

**dear maria:** WHAT IS THE STORY

 

**betsizzle:** i’ll say when to add them in

 

**betsizzle:** OK A Y SO I RIPPED MY SHIRT AND WE LEFT THE CLASS W PERMISSION OBV BUT WE LEFT AND WE WERE IN TH E HALL AND HERC GAVE ME HIS SHIRT BC HE IS A BOY™

 

**betsizzle:** AND WE WERE BOTH STANDING THERE SHIRTLESS IN THE HALLWAY AND IM WHEEZI N G HERC FINISH ALAO ADD THEM

 

**a real doll:** I GOT IT

 

**a real doll has added jem and the holograms**

 

**herculegs:** SO WE’RE THERE IN THE HALLWAY SOMEONE’S ABT TO HIT US UP SHES SINGNING JACOB STEGOSAURUS AND WEARING MY SHIRT MY TITS ARE OUT AND THATS WHEN I REALIZED HER SHIRT WAS INSIDE OUT

 

**jem and the holograms:** i dont,,,,

 

**hamb chops:** w h y did you add jemmy,, the purest

 

**jem and the holograms:**  im not pure but ok

 

**papa john:** HFVDKJ

 

**jem and the holograms:** wh y am i here and what happened why were herc’s tits out in a hallway who is she and why was her shirt inside out

 

**betsizzle:** OH MY SHIRT RIPPED BACK IN COLLEGE AND HERC HAD TO SEW IT UP IN THE HALL

 

**jem and the hologram:** ICONIC

 

**jem and the hologram:** WHY AM I HERE

 

**right angle:** WE’RE ADDING PEOPLE IN THE MIDDLE OF STORIES

 

**jem and the holograms:** OH

 

**jem and the holograms:** WHEN EVERYONE IS ADDED CAN WE PLAY THE KINK GAME™ 

 

**marta:** Y E S

 

**jem and the holograms:** NExT STORY ADD TIMMY NEXT

 

**hamb chops:** it was a tuesday,,,,,, i was sick-ish it was allergies and i was miserable

 

**hamb chops:** laf was like “i know how to make u feel better ;)(;” and we got ready to fucc

 

**margtini:** BVKDJGFHL

 

**hamb chops:** jefferson texted me a couple minutes in [;) also jk] and asked if he could borrow our copy of hercules and i said which one bc we have thirteen

 

**hamb chops:** he didnt care and i told him he could keep it nd me n laf thought we had time so im about to tell him to get it in like,, an hour or so and we hear a knock at the door

 

**hamb chops has added thotmas to the chat**

 

**hamb chops:** so we’re sitting there in the bedroom laf’s two fingers in, we’re both naked, i’m caught mid moan, phone in my hand message being typed, jefferson at the door, we’re shook and can h e a r jefferson’s disappointed sigh from the other side of the door bc there was just a la- and it just stopped

 

**a real doll:** EVER LAUGH SO HARD YOU SKIP LAUHGING ENTIRELY NAD JUST START CRYINGH

 

**betsizzle:** I AM WHEEXINF

 

**thotmas:** jem,,,, why are you where why am i here why must we relive the worst moment of 2k16

 

**jem and the holograms:** we’re adding people in out of context i was the first and also after everyone’s here we’re playing the kink game

 

**thotmas:** the last one,, is burr

 

**a real doll:** THEO

 

**thotmas:** NO ONE TELL HER FUKC

 

**hamb chops:** idk,, whats in it for me

 

**thotmas:** alex wyd,, i know The Incident

 

**hamb chops:** shit u right

 

**right angle:** SHIT WHAT IS THE INCIDENT

 

**thotmas:** well back before the annoying four it was just alex and john thirsting over laf and herc

 

**papa john:** I KNOW WHAT THIS IS IM SHEHT

 

**laffy taffy:** O H MYGOD

 

**thotmas:** well,,,,,,, alex got hella drunk and didnt want john or herc or laf or the schuylers or their signifs to deal w him so he hmu

 

**herculegs:** O H MY  GOD

 

**thotmas has added iceburrg lettuce**

 

**thotmas:** he was crying and i guess thought i was laf idk??? but anyway he tried to kiss me and then realized it was in fact not laf and started crying again so i nursed him back to health and he took my macaroni recipe and left an hour later

 

**thotmas:** unrelated if alex shows up to my house that upset ever again i’ll fight

 

**hamb chops:** THOMAS

 

**thotmas:** ALEX

 

**hamb chops:** WHO KNEW THOMAS CARED ABT ME SO MUCH

 

**thotmas:** who are you how did i get here what am i

 

**iceburrg lettuce:** i dont understand

 

**papa john:** wouldnt expect u too

 

**iceburrg lettuce:** i cant believe turtle boy roasted me

 

**iceburrg lettuce:** anyway what is going,, on

 

**dear maria:** out of context stories

 

**iceburrg lettuce:** ah

 

**adrienun:** then we’re gonna play the kink game when theo is added

 

**iceburrg lettuce:** being ace is great

 

**jem and the holograms:** hkernfls

 

**margtini:** I HAVE A STORY

 

**margtini:** REMEBER IN 2012 WHEN EVERYONE THOUGHT THE WORLD WAS GONNA END

 

**right angle:** N O

 

**betsizzle:** Y E S

 

**dear maria:** THE BEST

 

**adrienun:** THE MOST ICONIC

 

**marta:** I AM OS HERE FOR THIS

 

**a real doll:** MY TRASH GIRLFRIEND

 

**margtini:** W E L L ANG WAS SCARED AND WENT TO BUY FOOD ON AMAZON

 

**margtini has added theodore seville to the chat**

 

**margtini:** AND BASICALLY ANGELICA BOUGHT 60000 PACKAGES OF RAMEN AND THEY WERE UNLOADING THEM FOR A WEEK AND SHE WAS CRYING WE STILL HAVE THEM ALL

 

**betsizzle:** YOU KNOW THOSE RANDOM BOXES EVERYWHERE AND ALSO THAT BEDROOM NO ONE CAN GO IN

 

**betsizzle:** ALL RAMEN

 

**adrienun:** WE BRING SO MUCH TO DONATIONS

 

**dear maria:** DURING THANKSGIVING WE SHOW UP AT SCHOOLS AND JUST PUT RAMEN IN THE BOXES AND BOLT

 

**marta:** WE ARE A HIT AT ALL THE CHURCHES

 

**right angle:** sometimes i sit in the Room Of Regret and just cry

 

**adrienun:** we laugh at her bc whata flop

 

**betsizzle:** 6 0 0 0 0

 

**theodore seville:** i

 

**marta:** is everyone ready for the kink game™ 

 

**theodore seville:** im so confused

 

**marta:** well we were telling stories and adding people in randomly and now that the whole gang is here we’re gonna play think kink game (like never have i ever but you take off a point for every kink you have)

 

**theodore seville:** sounds like a lit ass time ok let’s play

 

**a real doll:** WHAT’S THE ORDER

 

**marta:** IDK ALPHABETICAL BY FIRST NAME???

 

**a real doll:** SU R E

 

**marta:** BURR, ADS, ALEX, ANG, DOLLEY, LIZA, HERC, JEMMY, JOHN, LAF, PEGS, ME, MARIA, THEO, TIMMY J

 

**thotmas:** TIMMY J

 

**hamb chops:** T I MMY J

 

**jem and the holograms:** idk timmy is cute

 

**marta:** thank

 

**thotmas:** thanku jemmy

 

**thotmas:** oh,, you meant the name im

 

**jem and the holograms:** ur cute too bby

 

**thotmas:** <3

 

**jem and the holograms:** <33

 

**papa john:** gross

 

**hamb chops:** hey john i love you

 

**papa john:** ALEX SWEET BBY I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS LIFE(except herc n laf) I WILL CHOOSE YOUR HAPPINESS OVER MINE EVERY TIME

 

**jem and the holograms:** and we’re gross

 

**laffy taffy:** S O F T

 

**papa john:** WHO IS ALEX WHERE AM I

 

**marta:** LETS PLAY GAYS

 

**theodore seville:** O KA Y

 

**margtini:** BURR GO

 

**iceburrg lettuce:** UM IDK I AM AC E

 

**jem and the holograms:** YOU HAVE READ OR AT LEAST SEEN FANFIC SHUTT HE FUJK

 

**iceburrg lettuce:** FIENDJSVF DADDY KINK I GUESS

 

**margtini:** 10 B)))

 

**betsizzle:** i love being a lesbian 10

 

**marta:** ten wyd

 

**right angle:** tEn

 

**adrienun:** !!10!!

 

**dear maria:** me,, a gay,, 10

 

**a real doll:** ^^^

 

**jem and the holograms:** 9 ;)(;

 

**thotmas:** don't expose me like this 9

 

**papa john:** ,,,,9,,,

 

**hamb chops has left the chat**

 

**laffy taffy:** listen 3/4 of us are at a 9 and alex is at -26

 

**right angle:** OSHDKD

 

**adrienun:** bitch better not miss my turn smh

 

**adrienun has added hamb chops to the chat**

 

**adrienun:** hey alex welcome back

 

**hamb chops:** i

 

**adrienun:** anyway hair pulling :))

 

**right angle:** WE ARE DATING THIS IS ABUSE BUT,,, 9

 

**margtini:** ANGJDSJDHD ALSO 10

 

**marta:** ow ten

 

**marta:** wait nine

 

**marta:** peg,,, on an unrelated note,,,, can u,,, mayb,, have a hair pulling kink bc i just thought about it and i busted 85 nuts 

 

**margtini:** we can try it later so i guess im down a point?? 9

 

**marta:** YES

 

**theodore seville:** why doesn't anyone support me like that

 

**theodore seville:** also nine

 

**margtini:** we could support you like that smh

 

**margtini:** i mean what huh who where am i who are you

 

**marta:** PEGGYDHKDF

 

**theodore seville:** i

 

**hamb chops:** it's drag after drag eight

 

**laffy taffy:** ,,(negative)eight

 

**herculegs:** laf you cried when i accidentally pulled your hair today

 

**laffy taffy:** bc,, you pulled it a lot last night and my scalp needs rest

 

**laffy taffy:** also i didn't cry i nutted out of my eyes

 

**right angle:** OSBDID

 

**herculegs:** eight i hate this

 

**papa john:** eight i love alex

 

**thotmas:** ow wtf nine

 

**iceburrg lettuce:** im gonna play this as if i wasnt ace so 10

 

**jem and the holograms:** niNe

 

**betsizzle:** i dont like my hair being pulled but pulling other people’s (see: maria) hair so 9

 

**dear maria:** you know ,, im being targeted nine

 

**hamb chops:** wow it's my turn right I luv 2 bully my signifs so idk like a hickey/marking or smth kink

 

**papa john:** suddenly i can't read

 

**laffy taffy:** WHY ARE WE GONNA BE OUT SO QUICK

 

**herculegs:** IM CALLING THE POLICE

 

**theodore seville:** eigHT

 

**dear maria:** 8 smh

 

**betsizzle:** eightkjdgf

 

**right angle:** ,,,,,,,,,,,,8

 

**thotmas:** 8

 

**jem and the holograms:** 8 B)))

 

**right angle:** who doesnt tbh 8

 

**a real doll:** 8,,

 

**adrienun:** 8

 

**margtini:** eight wyd 

 

**marta:** eight

 

**iceburrg lettuce:** nine smh

 

**right angle:** my turn woo

 

**right angle:** B) for my poly hoes out there B) ~voyeurism~

 

**hamb chops:** can i just stop playing 7

 

**laffy taffy:** kill me 6

 

**papa john:** my signifs are so pretty 6

 

**herculegs:** 6 >:(

 

**adrienun:** 7 smh

 

**a real doll:** shut 7

 

**margtini:** i cannot believe 7

 

**marta:** fuckckckck 7

 

**iceburrg lettuce:** B) 9

 

**theodore seville:** ok mr moseby

 

**theodore seville:** and 7

 

**thotmas:** 7 :--)

 

**jem and the holograms:** ,,7,,

 

**betsizzle:** 7 i

 

**dear maria:** 7 why must i be done so wrong

 

**a real doll:** o shit whaddup edging

 

**hamb chops:** you ever get bullied 6

 

**laffy taffy:** 5 bye

 

**herculegs:** ,,,,,,,,5

 

**papa john:** B)) 5

 

**theodore seville:** no tbh 7 please just let me nut smh

 

**marta:** THEOJHDSKBVDG

 

**marta:** yh 7

 

**margtini:** idk,,,,,,,, 6

 

**marta:** suddenly im at 6 can u believe

 

**thotmas:** jem wtf support my kinks like that

 

**jem and the holograms:** thomas no im not reading you the declaration of independence while we fuck

 

**thotmas:** I JUST

 

**hamb chops:** HUKDJDFDKHJYTG HTOMAAS

 

**theodore seville:** suddenly im at 6 what

 

**thotmas:** anywAY 6

 

**jem and the holograms:** six

 

**iceburrg lettuce:** okok anywaY im still at 9

 

**right angle:** fukcign 7

 

**a real doll:** why do we all have the same kinks who are we

 

**adrienun:** 1) 6 2) friends that kink together stay together

 

**dear maria:** shit boi 6

 

**betsizzle:** 6 let me live

 

**hamb hops:** who knew the schuyler siblings were so kinky wtf

 

**dear maria:** ;;) me

 

**marta:** ;)(; and me

 

**adrienun:** me2 ;;)))

 

**a real doll:** also me ;)))

 

**theodore seville:** and soon me2

 

**theodore seville:** i mean who

 

**papa john:** anyway who’s next

 

**betsizzle:** me woo

 

**betsizzle:** ;)) a fight/blood/etc kink

 

**hamb chops:** NOSDHAKSV SROP

 

**papa john:** BULLY

 

**hamb chops:** >:-(( 5

 

**papa john:** FOUR IM

 

**laffy taffy:** 5 tbh

 

**laffy taffy:** lol jk the blood/etc 4

 

**herculegs:** !!5!! i don't like seeing them hurt but I'll do it for them smh

 

**a real doll:** ugli each other stans

 

**a real doll:** 6 smh

 

**dear maria:** bby wyd 6

 

**betsizzle:** getting john nd alex n apparently laf out <3333

 

**dear maria:** :”) i married well

 

**hamb chops:** you,, arent married

 

**dear maria:** shut the fuck up alexander

 

**hamb chops:** damn okay jfc

 

**right angle:** ok an y wya 7

 

**adrienun:** yhyh 6

 

**marta:** No™ 6

 

**margtini:** 6 bc i hate pain smh

 

**theodore seville:** also six B)) playin it safe B))

 

**thotmas:** Why Would I Ever 6

 

**jem and the holograms:** yh 6

 

**iceburrg lettuce:** 1) 9 lmao 2) im changing my name hold

 

**iceburrg lettuce has changed their display name to errorn**

 

**errorn:** get it,, like error but aaron,, errorn

 

**theodore seville:** yeah ok

 

**theodore seville:** actually can we all change now if we’re gonna

 

**theodore seville has changed their display name to theopatra**

 

**theopatra has changed their display name to theogaysia**

 

**theogaysia:** which one

 

**theogaysia:** ok psa im only gonna listen to mars and peggy so

 

**margtini:** umum theopatra

 

**marta:** ^^^^

 

**theogaysia has changed their display name to theopatra**

 

**margtini has changed their display name to peg leg**

 

**peg leg:** like a pirate get it

 

**marta:** babe,,,,, i love you,, but,,, pleas e

 

**theopatra:** peg,,g,,,y,,,,,,

 

**herculegs has changed their display name to heathercules m**

 

**heathercules m:** a beautiful

 

**a real doll has changed their display name to dolley parton**

 

**dolley parton:** a Good

 

**marta has changed their display name to martha stewart**

 

**martha stewart:** im free,,,, i forgot not everyone lives in georgia at one point and doesnt know what the marta is lmaonfjkshg

 

**hamb chops:** are we all good

 

**laffy taffy has changed their display name to lafgayette**

 

**papa john:** AMAZING

 

**papa john:** anyway are we gonna finish or

 

**hamb chops:** ;))))))

 

**papa john:** alex shut

 

**theopatra:** lets just say you four lost and burr won

 

**papa john:** yeah ok sounds right

 

* * *

 

**right angle >> peg leg, martha stewart**

 

**right angle:** BINCHES

 

**peg leg:** 1) RUDE 2) WHAT

 

**right angle:** ACT ON YOUR FUCKIGN FEELING S FOR THEO ALREADY IM IN PAIN

 

**martha stewart:** WE’RE JUST FRIENDS SMH

 

**martha stewart:** REALLY CLOSE FRIENDS THAT ACCIDENTALLY KISSED A LOT ONE TIME AND MAYBE LIKE EACH OTHER

 

**right angle:** OH,,,, MY GOD

 

**peg leg:** MARTHA

 

**peg leg:** anyway mayb she doesnt like polyamory :(

 

**right angle:** YALL IVE HAD ENOUGH

 

**right angle has added theopatra to the chat**

 

**peg leg:** ANGIE NO

 

**right angle:** YOU CAN LEAVE BINCH

 

**peg leg:** I’LL STAY

 

**right angle:** GOOD

 

**right angle:** so theo,,,,,, do you like martha n peggy

 

**right angle:** in ////that way////

 

**theopatra:** i,,,,,

 

**theopatra:** maybe?????

 

**peg leg:** AH

 

**martha stewart:** A H

 

**theopatra:** aH??

 

**right angle:** i’ll leAVE YOU TO IT

 

**right angle has left the chat**

 

**martha stewart:** DO YOU WANT TO TELL HER OR SHOULD I???

 

**peg leg:** IDKIDK

 

**peg leg:** I MEAN WE ARE SITTING NEXT TO EACH OTHER SO WE CAN SEND AN AUDIO MESSAGE??

 

**martha stewart:** OR DISCUSS THIS WITH YOU KNOW,,, WORDS

 

**peg leg:** ok theo

 

**theopatra:** ok guys

 

**martha stewart:** do you wanna go out with us???

 

**peg leg:** like on a date????

 

**theopatra:** aaaAAAA

 

**theopatra:** YES OF CORUSE WHAT TIME AND WHEN BC IM FREE TONIGHR???

 

**peg leg:** SURESURE

 

**theopatra:** HOW SHOULD I DRESS WHERE ARE WE GOING

 

**martha stewart:** FUCK

 

**peg leg:** OKAY UM JUST CASUAL BUT LIKE ,,,,, NICE CASUAL

 

**theopatra:** EHAT

 

**peg leg:** A CUTE DRESS OR MAYB A ROMPER JUST SMTH LIKE THAT NOT LIKE,,, TOO CASUAL AND NOT TOO FANCY™™ 

 

**theopatra:** OH I GOTCHA

 

**peg leg:** !!!!!

 

* * *

 

**peg leg >> right angle**

 

**peg leg:** AAA ANGEL I LOVE YOU SO MUHC THANK UOU

 

**right angle:** <3333333

 

* * *

 

**hamb chops >> papa john, lafgayette, heathercules m, peg leg, jem and the holograms, theopatra, adrienun, betsizzle, thotmas, errorn, martha stewart, right angle, dolley parton, dear maria**

 

**hamb chops:** listen,,,,,

 

**thotmas:** why

 

**hamb chops:** we need to crown a meme champion

 

**peg leg:** ok but can we do it later me n martha are on a date w theo!!!!

 

**papa john:** MY BBY ALL GROWN UP IM SO PROUD OF U MY LOV

 

**peg leg:** <33333

 

* * *

 

**peg leg >> papa john, lafgayette, heathercules m, hamb chops, jem and the holograms, theopatra, adrienun, betsizzle, thotmas, errorn, martha stewart, right angle, dolley parton, dear maria**

 

**peg leg:** OK WE’RE BACK,, ALEX YOU WERE SAYING

 

**hamb chops:** WE NEED A MEME CHAMPION

 

**theopatra:** HWO ARE WE GONNA DECIDE

 

**adrienun:** POLL

 

**papa john:** NO

 

**dear maria:** NO

 

**right angle:** NO

 

**adrienun:** FINE DAMN

 

**hamb chops:** OK LETS ALL MAKE A FOLDER OF HOW MANY MEMES WE HAVE THE MOST WINS

 

**errorn:** its not me so im not going to

 

**peg leg:** 1687

 

**jem and the holograms:** 982

 

**right angle:** 945

 

**theopatra:** 1574

 

**peg leg:** ITS ME

 

**peg leg:** u all were worthy opponents im assuming the rest of you didnt even say bc you couldnt win

 

**betsizzle:** bingo

 

**papa john:** u got it

 

**peg leg:** anyway im gonna kiss theo bye!!!

 

**theopatra:** WOO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what the fuck even happened 
> 
> theo!!! and!!! peggy!!! and!!! martha!!!
> 
> also it was so hard to pic a summary bc this is one of my fav chapters ive ever written but
> 
> \--
> 
> next chapter: i should stop doing these honestly bc i dont know


End file.
